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    <title>The Thinking Woman</title>
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    <generator uri="http://www.vox.com/">Vox</generator>
    <updated>2008-05-16T20:54:10Z</updated>

    <id>tag:vox.com,2006:6p00cdf3aeca2acb8f/</id>

    <subtitle>Because not all girls are airheads...</subtitle>


    
    <entry>
        <title>Walls Come Tumbling Down</title>
    
    
    
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                <id>tag:vox.com,2008-05-16:asset-6a00c2252735748e1d00fa9675f9c60003</id>
        <published>2008-05-16T16:35:59Z</published>
        <updated>2008-05-16T20:54:10Z</updated>
    
        <author>
            <name>Mahoganie</name>
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            <p>The real nitty gritty has begun on the house. </p>
<p>Dust covers the heavy duty plastic covering on the furniture in the kitchen and dinning room.&#160;New copper pipes replace old rotted ones.&#160; Parts of the living room and kitchen have been knocked out to make way for a new bathroom on the main level. Old furniture pieces have been donated. </p>
<p>My back&#160;(and even a part of my chest) hurts&#160;from all of the packing, moving and even carrying my child around on a daily basis. </p>
<p>Change is here and in a big way. </p>
<p>In the midst&#160;of packing up my bedroom I&#39;ve thrown away a lot things. </p>
<p>A couple of old book bags filled with classwork from my junior and high school years, old and broken trinkets and donated just about my entire closet of clothes and shoes to charity; stuff I hadn&#39;t worn since the late 80s and well into the 90s. </p>
<p>I came across old printed out emails, including one from my &quot;Him from New York&quot;; professing his &quot;love&quot; for me. Whatever...</p>
<p>I&#39;ve come across many pictures and loose change.. I didn&#39;t realized I had so many pictures and money&#160;scattered about. </p>
<p>In the midst of all of this change I can&#39;t help but wonder what is in store for the future. </p>
<p>Indeed I&#39;m in this new phase in life,&#160;but I don&#39;t know how to describe it. It almost feels as if I&#39;m in the same position I was in during my first brink of real change.... very pivotal. </p>
<p>The urge to write has hit me and I&#39;m a bit frustrated cause within this week alone soooo much had to be done before the walls could be knocked into no time to really write.&#160;i just pray that the thoughts retain in my head, even as I dream.</p>
<p>Now that the renovation work&#160;has&#160;officially begun,&#160;it sort of&#160;caught everyone in the household a little off guard - even though we&#39;ve known about this since the planning stages. Yet, to see a drastic change to your HOUSE go on right before your eyes is&#160;&quot;a hold your breath&quot; kinda thing. </p>
<p>This is indeed not only a change in my life but in my parents as well. For 28 years all of us have LIVED in this house - a house&#160;that was originally built in the 50s(?) by an old white guy - who built it for him and his grown son. His son never moved in, because once the house was finished he had gone to live elsewhere and started a family on his own. This is the story my old Italian (next door) neighbor would tell our family over and over.&#160; </p>
<p>Speaking of which I miss Ms. Lovisa dearly. I grew up fascinated by her&#160;well kept garden in the backyard and her mini vineyard. Who ever heard of a mini vineyard with grapes growing wildly&#160;in Southeast Washington, DC? Ms. Lovisa may have very well left Italy, but Italy didn&#39;t leave her. And yes.. she did make wine and didn&#39;t hesitate in sharing with my father. She even picked me up from school a couple of times - once with a visiting relative from Italy and I got an earful of spoken Italian as I sat back and smile and nodded as if I understood.</p>
<p>It broke my heart when she was no longer able to care for herself. Her family placed her in a nursing home clear on the other side of town... more so in Montgomery County, MD near her sister.&#160;Her house was sold and&#160;I was a bit angry at the folks who now&#160;live in &quot;Ms. Lovisa&#39;s House.&quot; How dare they get rid of her garden and dig up her beautiful peonies!</p>
<p>Again.. that was a change I wasn&#39;t ready for just yet.</p>
<p>Along with this change that is occurring there&#39;s Papi. I find myself haunted by past&#160;lovers; with opportunities that I could have jumped on but left alone. I&#39;m definitely not the same girl.&#160;Each day I&#39;m&#160;wanting Papi more and more.&#160;Still it&#39;s one day at a time. Just&#160;be.&#160;Last night we had gone to see The Roots and Erykah Badu perform. What&#39;s strange is, I&#39;ve never been the cuddle in public type, but there I was with my head resting on his shoulder or my arm contently on his leg&#160;as Erykah Badu sang her heart out.</p>
<p><em>Side note: Can I just say I looked and felt sexy. I rarely say this often, even if it is about myself but I was hot!&#160;&#160;I found a dress at Torrid.. </em><a href="http://www.torrid.com/torrid/store/product.jsp?FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2534374302024200&amp;PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=845524442173885&amp;bmUID=1210953062834"><em>something like this </em></a><em>- minus the pockets and&#160;mine is a dark gray. My jewelry from the Lalia Rowe store in Tyson&#39;s Corner...</em><a href="http://www.lailarowe.com/accessories/product.asp?s_id=0&amp;prod_name=31441&amp;pf_id=PAAAIAFECOFFILEI&amp;dept_id=3045"><em> something like this </em></a><em>- my necklace was multi-color with pastels pink, yellow,&#160;a mint green and light blue. My black&#160;six inch&#160;Steve Madden pumps and </em><a href="http://www.aldoshoes.com/eng/storeSection/redirect.cfm?sectionID=b2c/style/productDetails.cfm&amp;itemID=68827012&amp;&amp;var=d&amp;ckey=US&amp;colorid=98"><em>my black clutch from Aldo</em></a><em>. Oh and of course the right touch of MAC make up. I even wore a little eyeshadow which is something I do once is a blue moon. Ironically, I matched Papi who was wearing gray and black; which is something I loathe when I see a&#160;couple matching.&#160;However,&#160;I had no idea he was going to wear such. Too bad we didn&#39;t take any pictures.</em></p>
<p>Change is in the air and I&#39;m not talking about Obama&#39;s madness.</p>
<p>I feel like shedding more skin. </p>
<p>Recognize. Accept. Embrace. </p>
<p>Change.. feel it</p>
<p>&#160;</p>
        
    
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        </content>
    
    <category term="music" scheme="http://thinkingwoman.groups.vox.com/tags/music/" label="music" />
    
    <category term="italy" scheme="http://thinkingwoman.groups.vox.com/tags/italy/" label="italy" />
    
    <category term="life" scheme="http://thinkingwoman.groups.vox.com/tags/life/" label="life" />
    
    <category term="shopping" scheme="http://thinkingwoman.groups.vox.com/tags/shopping/" label="shopping" />
    
    <category term="love" scheme="http://thinkingwoman.groups.vox.com/tags/love/" label="love" />
    
    <category term="washington dc" scheme="http://thinkingwoman.groups.vox.com/tags/washington+dc/" label="washington dc" />
    
    <category term="change" scheme="http://thinkingwoman.groups.vox.com/tags/change/" label="change" />
    
    <category term="erykah badu" scheme="http://thinkingwoman.groups.vox.com/tags/erykah+badu/" label="erykah badu" />
    
    <category term="the roots" scheme="http://thinkingwoman.groups.vox.com/tags/the+roots/" label="the roots" />
    
    <category term="renovation" scheme="http://thinkingwoman.groups.vox.com/tags/renovation/" label="renovation" />
    
    </entry>

    
    <entry>
        <title>From me to you....</title>
    
    
    
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                <id>tag:vox.com,2008-04-08:asset-6a00e398d088dc000300f48cec85260003</id>
        <published>2008-04-08T08:55:44Z</published>
        <updated>2008-05-16T20:25:21Z</updated>
    
        <author>
            <name>Flamingo Dancer</name>
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            <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: times new roman">You shouldn’t get to 50 to learn this …</span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium; color: #000000; font-family: times new roman">&#160;</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">Growing older is inevitable <img alt="Image, Source: b&amp;w film copy neg." src="http://memory.loc.gov/service/pnp/cph/3b00000/3b02000/3b02600/3b02696r.jpg" /></span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman"></span></span></span></span>&#160;</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">Be open about your age. You don’t have to broadcast it via electronic media (ok, I may have) , but don’t deny your age either. You will still die on the day you die no matter if you pretend you are 42 and 3 months….. when you are 92.</span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">Your teeth wont fall out on the pillow over night – usually. However, look after them, as they need to be with you until the end!</span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">You can get some great gifts on milestone birthdays – maybe it is the sympathy vote, who knows, or cares. Show other people how to do it with style. Plan a series of events, not just one party with a bang. Lots of smaller intimate events nourish the soul.</span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">Thank anyone who acts surprised when they hear that you are turning 50. If it is a male thank him twice!</span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">Lighten your hair color gradually. There is no worse give away than jet black hair on an aging dame. It makes one look older not younger. If your hair doesn’t start to grey, offer thanks to the god of genes! </span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">Same goes for make-up and nail polish. We need style as we age not colour drama.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">&#160; </span>Leave Technicolor nightmares to those that are still learning – and may they still enjoy.</span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">Two wrongs don’t make a right.</span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">Don’t give up your dreams and plans. You have at least 30 more years to achieve things, so plan what to do with them.</span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">Go quietly sometimes. It refreshes and nourishes you</span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">Be noisy sometimes. It refreshes and nourishes you.</span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">Continue learning – something, anything. Get a degree, taking up whittling, or whistling or whatever takes your fancy but keep your interests alive.</span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">Love the skin you are in. It has served you well. Eat well, drink plenty of water and moisturize. Cover up in the sun, use sunscreens and wear sunglasses and a hat outside – slip slop slap! </span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">Don’t live through your children. Live beside your children. </span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">Appreciate the partner you are with. Just that, appreciate the partner you are with.</span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">Travel </span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">Read</span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">Listen</span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">Debate</span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">Consider</span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">Have regular massages. We have a home massage service, so I can burn my favorite oils, play my favorite music and not have traffic hassles afterwards, thus prolonging the mellow feelings. It is one of life’s little joys. Stops me from eating my young.</span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">Learn to say “I don’t know”</span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">Get a good hair cut. This is important no matter what age you are.</span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">Don’t expect your partner to do all the work on anniversaries, or Valentine’s day. It is equal opportunity relationships now!</span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">You will have to remember all his relatives’ birthdays and send Christmas cards to his friends. He may not even remember your birthday.</span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">Plan your retirement.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">&#160; </span>It is going to happen one day, make sure you get to do it the way that you would like to!</span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">Make a will. Ensure the things that are important to you happen (the children go to your family, not his) and that sentimental or valuable things go to the people that you want them to.</span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">Walk – go outside into the world.</span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">Spend time with children</span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">Find the name of a good physiotherapist and establish a relationship, so that when you wake up in the middle of the night and can’t move they will slot you into an early appointment.</span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">Never underestimate the power of the gift of a single flower, or a telephone call to someone who is having a bad day. Ok, sms then!</span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">Get eye glasses as soon as you need them. You don’t know what you are missing until you can see clearly again!</span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">Let go of people who bring you no good. Care for the ones that do.</span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">Remember other people’s birthdays – it is the one day THEY alone get to be special. Unless they are a twin or triplet, then remember all of them, invite them over for beer and pretzels!</span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">Get flu vaccinations</span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">Spend money on a good pillow and a good mattress. Lack of either can ruin your life.</span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">Don’t<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">&#160; </span>a. ask a woman when she is going to have a baby, or b. ask a woman when her baby is due unless she is on the way to the hospital. Avoiding both can save you much embarrassment.</span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">Learn to say no and mean it. Balance it with saying yes when it works for you.</span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">Don’t be afraid to say “You have no right to speak to me that way” be it at home or work. Remember the same works the opposite way.</span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">Treat people the way you would like to be treated yourself.</span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">Don’t bitch about someone on the work email. Some people have been known to stupidly cc the subject in on the email and have to explain their opinion away as a brain fade or early senility (ok, ok I confess, it was me, so at least learn from my mistake and make my pain worthwhile!)</span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">If you don’t know if it is his wife or his niece, speak in the abstract</span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">If a family member leaves their partner, speak cautiously until the divorce is finalized and they have remarried, as they often reconcile and remember everything you said and nothing they said!</span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">Some days you will get the good parking spot, some days you wont</span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">There will be days when the upside will be rolling into the fetal position in a corner and humming to yourself between sobs.</span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">Some days you will call your child by the incorrect name</span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">No matter how much you love your pet, it will die one day. Often sooner than you expect.</span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">Respect the old – they did it all before you!</span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">Return things that you borrow.</span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">Be thoughtful about whom you sleep with. You are worth it!</span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">You will have more than one career in life. Some you will choose, some will choose you and some will be necessity. Eventually you will end up where you are meant to be.</span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">Marriage is more than a ring and a wedding day. Think past the wedding day.</span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">Laugh as much as you can. Laugh with others, not at them! Laugh alone. Enjoy your own private thoughts!</span></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; TEXT-INDENT: -18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt"><span style="color: #000000"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol"><span style="mso-list: Ignore"><span style="font-size: medium"></span><span style="FONT: 7pt &#39;Times New Roman&#39;">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US"><span style="font-size: medium"><span style="font-family: times new roman">Blog – it brings the world too you, and opens the way for the most amazing people to enter your life. </span></span></span></span></p>
        
    
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    <entry>
        <title>We&#39;re Not Powerless</title>
    
    
    
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                        <id>tag:vox.com,2008-05-16:asset-6a00d4143667316a4700fae8b9ba7e000b</id>
        <published>2008-05-16T02:03:11Z</published>
        <updated>2008-05-16T20:17:09Z</updated>
    
        <author>
            <name>Patricia Volonakis Davis</name>
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<p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 1.56em">In 2002, the man I love lost his </span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 1.56em">19-year-old son to a car crash. Six months later, I had to face the growing evidence that yet another beloved family member was suffering from a mental condition which was causing him and those who loved him a great deal of emotional pain, but for which he was adamantly <em>not</em> going to seek treatment. Two minutes after that, I had still another falling out with my parents; regarding their obsessive control issues that dogged me right up to my mother’s death. A few months later, my 14-year-old son began his rebellion stage with a vengeance. Not to mention that throughout all this turmoil, I was making the slow and unbelievable discovery that a woman who I thought had been my friend for the past twenty years was simply…not. <strong>And then, of course, there was the Bush administration’s decision to invade Afghanistan and Iraq. </strong></span></p>
<p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 1.56em">Some people might wonder how I could possibly include that last sentence in my list of personal woes. But I <em>do</em>, because since I’ve been in my early twenties, I’ve had what some call the annoying propensity to read the newspapers and use my <strong>God-given strategic thinking skills </strong>to analyse the information therein. And I don’t just read American newspapers. There are all kinds of news reports one can find online, many in English, but if not, I find that if I use a dictionary, I can read the newspapers in a few different languages. And being able to do that gives me a bit of an edge, because world reports are markedly and sometimes, <strong>scarily</strong> different than American reports. </span></p>
<p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 1.56em">The reason I go to all this trouble to read whatever I can and think about all of it is simple - <strong>I want to know when policy-makers are lying to me.</strong> I don’t care what party they belong to, nor what country they’re heading. I don’t join teams and stick with them doggedly to the bitter end, no matter what <strong>‘my’ </strong>team does or says, when it comes to politics. In fact, after the dirty play I witnessed by the Italian team during <strong>the last World Cup</strong>, a team I’ve been cheering for since I was a little girl watching European football with my uncles, <strong>I don’t even do it with sports any more.</strong>&#160; Because I know that whenever anyone who’s been put in power opens his mouth, whether in sports or politics, <span style="FONT-SIZE: 1.25em"><strong>sh*t happens.&#160;</strong></span> <strong>And that sh*t usually gets dumped with a heavy hand on the littlest guy. </strong></span></p>
<p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 1.56em">But reading the newspapers and analysing the news led me to having to face the final personal trauma of the many personal traumas between the years 2002 and 2003, which was that my country was going to attack another country <strong>for a reason that I knew to be an absolute LIE. </strong></span></p>
<p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 1.56em">Five years and countless deaths (of humans and civil liberties) later, I’m proven right. Oddly enough, that doesn’t make me feel one bit&#160;better about it. </span></p>
<p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 1.56em"><strong>But I digress. </strong></span></p>
<p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 1.56em">Regarding every harrowing incident I lived through between 2002 and 2003, well-meaning supporters said, <strong>“There’s nothing you can do.”</strong></span></p>
<p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 1.56em">It was true that there was nothing I could do to prevent the series of events that led to my stepson’s death. Nor could I stop the deluge of grief that followed and that will trickle forever. I couldn’t force my family member to seek counselling, nor my parents to be anything other than what they were. And, like everything else my son does, he did his rebelling so well, that nothing I, his father and his stepfather managed to come up with, would alter his course until he was damn good and ready to alter it himself. As far as my long-held acquaintanceship…well, I thought about it long and hard, and at the end of the day,&#160;I saw I was pretty much powerless there, too.&#160;&#160; </span></p>
<p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 1.56em">Powerlessness is terrible. <strong>It leads to hopelessness</strong>. Even though I coped as best I could with these events, I admit to feeling hopeless more than once during them.</span></p>
<p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 1.56em">But when the President of the United States starting talking about invading Iraq, I heard, “There’s nothing you can do,” once too often. <strong>I wasn’t powerless in this situation. I could at least have my voice heard.</strong> And so I began writing, writing, writing. I wrote essays, articles and satires. I wrote emails and letters to Congress. </span></p>
<p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 1.56em"><strong>What difference can the voice of one woman make?</strong> Maybe not much, but add it to another voice and now you have harmony. Add ten more and it’s a chorus. </span></p>
<p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 1.56em">There are a growing number of us who are less and less afraid of singing against the norm. We are tired of the different factions sniping at each other and pointing fingers. It doesn’t matter who was playing the fiddle when Rome started burning, <strong>it&#39;s time for us all to step up and begin to put the fire out.&#160;</strong></span><strong> </strong></p>
<p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 1.56em">I haven’t written about the presidential campaign because I am disgusted by it. I am sickened that this past week alone there was devastation in China and Myramar and none of the candidates - one of whom is to be the future leader of the free world - could stop his or her own personal crusade for self-aggrandisement long enough to bring these up in any real context. If I thought that any of the three could sincerely care about anything other than, <strong>“I want to be the next president of the United States,”</strong> just for a single moment,&#160; that in itself just might give that person the one precious vote that <strong>is still </strong>mine to give. </span></p>
<p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 1.56em">When I lived in Greece, there was a devastating earthquake in nearby Turkey that rivalled the one China has just suffered. Greek television is not like the television here in the United States. Reality TV in Greece is not who gets picked by the bachelor, reality TV is seeing your Turkish neighbour clawing through the rubble of his village, screaming in agony because he hears his family crying beneath the stone, and he has no tools save his bare hands to free them. <strong>When you see the tears and the blood of your neighbour, does it matter then if he is Muslim or Christian, friend or enemy? </strong>It <em>shouldn’t </em>and it didn’t&#160;to the Greeks. Long time foes of the Turks, with centuries of ill-will between them, the Greeks were the first outsiders to step on Turkish soil to help. </span></p>
<p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 1.56em">I remember being in my little bookshop in Athens, crying with relief as my business partner and I watched on our telly downstairs, Greek police, Greek firemen, Greek doctors, Greek nurses, Greek university students, all doing their damnedest to help their sworn enemies save their children, their spouses, their parents and whatever was left of their homes. And when just the following month, Greece had its own earthquake, the Turks were there in a show of solidarity that should make every self-proclaimed follower of God or any kind of spirituality here in my country <strong>hang his head in shame.</strong> </span></p>
<p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 1.56em">When I asked one Greek why he was able to help so wholeheartedly a people who have been at war off and on again with Greece practically since the beginning of time, his answer made me think. <strong>He said, “It’s not the Turkish people we Greeks dislike. It’s their government.”</strong></span></p>
<p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 1.56em">We are all citizens of the same country here and yet we don’t show the respect for each other that those centuries-sworn enemies did. And don’t think for one moment just because you assume you are on the <strong>‘correct’ </strong>side of the “Republican/Democrat, Christian/Non” debate, that it gives you the right to slander anyone else, or feel smug and superior to anyone else. </span></p>
<p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 1.56em">First off, it’s not helping. What it does is keep us occupied while all politicians- <em>all</em> - screw us. <em>All.</em>&#160; We are <em>all</em> in this crappy economy together, we are<em> all </em>in this war together, we are <em>all</em> suffering under the same antiquated health care system, school system, and electoral system.&#160; We may all have different opinions on how it should be changed, but the point is we<strong> all agree it should be different</strong> and the only ones who are benefiting from it as it stands are the ones who set us squabbling about it in the first place.-the politicians.</span></p>
<p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 1.56em"><strong>Here are three thoughts for both liberals and conservatives both in and out of the United States:</strong></span></p>
<p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 1.56em">1) How is political protest “anti-American” when it was what the country was founded on? There would be no United States of America without someone - or once again, that small chorus of people, who said, “This isn’t working. Time to start over. <strong>Let’s start by having a tea party.”</strong> </span></p>
<p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 1.56em">2) Did it ever occur to anyone who criticises those who believed George Bush unequivocally,&#160;that they <em>should have been able </em>to believe him? George W. Bush is like my mechanic. He’s hired to fix my car. If my mechanic tells me my transmission is out of whack, how can I argue, unless I take a course in car repair? I have to trust him.&#160; And I <em>do</em>. I hired him to do a job. How can a person who believes in the office of the president be criticised for that same trust? It’s <strong><em>this</em> president who violated that trust. It’s </strong><em>this</em> president who should be blamed, not <em>every</em> Republican. <strong>Are you telling me there are no lying Democrats?&#160; </strong></span></p>
<p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 1.56em">3) And lastly, there are<strong><span style="FONT-SIZE: 1.25em"> three hundred million people </span></strong>who live in the US. Can we all be alike? Do we all have the same levels of exposure to the outside world or the same education? I just met a man recently, a good man, who believes fervently that we need to “stop the terrorists.” He is a stone mason, he is out of work, and my guess is he has no clue that the reason he is out of work goes back to <strong>Alan Greenspan’s incompetent,&#160; partisan fiscal policies and George W. Bush’s invasion of Iraq. </strong>How <em>could</em> he know if he never had an economics class, maybe never even graduated from high school? </span></p>
<p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 1.56em">Granted, not everyone who is ‘pro-invasion’ is this man.&#160; And many people on <em>both sides</em> of this equation are <span style="FONT-SIZE: 1.25em"><strong>just not nice people </strong></span>who have their own agenda, their own desire for personal gain. And then there are those who simply see things differently. </span></p>
<p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 1.56em">I see things differently than most people. I believe that we should all be able to learn from each other and that the differences amongst us <strong>should not be a threat to any of us, but an opportunity to grow and learn as a species</strong>. I want to know how the people in India came to believe in a God with an elephant face, and the ones in Italy believe in a God who was born again as Himself. I’m not alarmed by either of these beliefs, nor do I mock them.&#160; I’m intrigued by them. How did they start, and what can I learn from them? <strong>Most importantly, what do I believe myself, as an individual, when I gather these facts? </strong>Am I strong enough to stand alone if I have to, when my beliefs are different than those around me? Can I also use what I learn to help build a better world?&#160; </span></p>
<p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 1.56em">That is the purpose of my life. To learn and to teach. To help leave the planet just a little bit better than it was before I got here. It will most likely make only a small difference, really, one woman’s voice. <strong>But if I can add a chorus to it, well…you never know. </strong></span></p>
<p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 1.56em">And that’s how I’ll introduce you today to my new online magazine and podcast, <em><strong><a href="http://www.harlotssauce.com/">Harlots’ Sauce Radio</a></strong></em>.&#160;&#160; It still only has a small voice, but the sound is unique and beautiful to me, because the chorus is comprised of people from all different parts of the world, coming from all different perspectives. <strong>Yes,</strong> we can do that without snarling at each other. </span></p>
<p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 1.56em">I’ve sent this post as an invitation to everyone in my VOX neighbourhood and in my VOX groups today. Not only do I invite you to read <strong><em>Harlots’ Sauce Radio </em></strong>and listen to our podcast interviews of many extraordinary people who make up this planet, I urge you to add <strong>YOUR</strong> own voice. There is a wealth of talent here on VOX - writers, humorists, musicians, poets, photographers, and deep thinkers. Please go to the submissions guidelines page and offer up your talents. Then, enjoy the talents of your fellow human beings who have already been published there.&#160; If nothing else, we make a pleasant change from <em>Yahoo’s</em> home page daily reports on who got thrown off <em>American Idol.</em> </span></p>
<p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 1.56em">I hope you will take me up on this invitation. <strong>If we sing loudly enough, sooner or later,&#160;our&#160;song will be heard.</strong></span></p>
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        <title>I just want to sit on top of you, James McAvoy.</title>
    
    
    
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                        <id>tag:vox.com,2008-05-15:asset-6a00cd971893af4cd500fad6874a0e0005</id>
        <published>2008-05-15T20:49:11Z</published>
        <updated>2008-05-16T14:26:17Z</updated>
    
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            <p>Geh. Pshaw. Whatevs. I know he&#39;s married (FOR NOW, ANYWAY). JMac&#39;s like 5 &#39;7, you knows? ( and so is Emile Hirsch, according to IMDB) How revoltingly adorable is that shit? I can just stick him in ma pocket! Or put him in a little engagement ring box and bring him out to play!<div><br /><div>
    
    
    
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    <category term="james mcavoy" scheme="http://thinkingwoman.groups.vox.com/tags/james+mcavoy/" label="james mcavoy" />
    
    </entry>

    
    <entry>
        <title>Victory! California Supreme Court overturns gay marriage ban</title>
    
    
    
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                <id>tag:vox.com,2008-05-15:asset-6a00c2251cbb00604a00fae8b9a17b000b</id>
        <published>2008-05-15T18:26:41Z</published>
        <updated>2008-05-15T18:46:56Z</updated>
    
        <author>
            <name>Liz</name>
            <uri>http://feminist.vox.com/?_c=feed-atom-full</uri>
        </author>
    
        
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            <p>Check out the LA Times article <a href="http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-gaymarriage16-2008may16,1,4027698.story">here</a>.</p>
<blockquote><p>In a 4-3 ruling, the justices rule that state marriage laws are unconstitutional.</p>
<p>SAN FRANCISCO — – The California Supreme Court ruled today that
same-sex couples should be permitted to marry, rejecting state marriage
laws as discriminatory.</p>
<p>The state high court’s 4-3 ruling was unlikely to end the debate
over gay matrimony in California. A group has circulated petitions for
a November ballot initiative that would amend the state Constitution to
block same-sex marriage, while the Legislature has twice passed bills
to authorize gay marriage. Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger vetoed both.</p></blockquote>
<p>Finally, some decisive action on this!</p><p>Here&#39;s a quote from our shitty, shitty Governor, Mr. Schwarzenegger, that makes me feel a little more secure in today&#39;s ruling:</p>
<blockquote><p>&quot;I respect the Court&#39;s decision and as Governor, I will uphold its ruling. Also, as I have said in the past, <strong>I will not support an amendment to the constitution that would overturn this state Supreme Court ruling.&quot;</strong></p></blockquote> 
        
    
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        </content>
    
    <category term="marriage" scheme="http://thinkingwoman.groups.vox.com/tags/marriage/" label="marriage" />
    
    <category term="politics" scheme="http://thinkingwoman.groups.vox.com/tags/politics/" label="politics" />
    
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    <category term="tidbits" scheme="http://thinkingwoman.groups.vox.com/tags/tidbits/" label="tidbits" />
    
    <category term="lgbtqi" scheme="http://thinkingwoman.groups.vox.com/tags/lgbtqi/" label="lgbtqi" />
    
    </entry>

    
    <entry>
        <title>apparently, I&#39;m a very, very bad wife.</title>
    
    
    
        <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" title="apparently, I&#39;m a very, very bad wife." href="http://thinkingwoman.groups.vox.com/library/post/6a00d4142d73596a4700fad687412d0005.html?_c=feed-atom-full" />
    
        
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                        <id>tag:vox.com,2008-05-15:asset-6a00d4142d73596a4700fad687412d0005</id>
        <published>2008-05-15T18:20:53Z</published>
        <updated>2008-05-16T14:04:20Z</updated>
    
        <author>
            <name>prairieplains</name>
            <uri>http://prairieplains.vox.com/?_c=feed-atom-full</uri>
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            <p>At least according to Dr. George Crane. I tripped on <a href="http://http//www.boingboing.net/2008/05/13/1939-marital-rating.html">this&#160;</a>&#160;little gem while browsing some random non-Vox blogs, and I had to share. Dr. Crane was a marriage counselor in the 1930&#39;s, and wrote a nationally syndicated&#160;newspaper column dispensing marital advice. In 1939, he came&#160;up with the&#160;genius &quot;Marital Rating Scale,&quot; a testing tool for couples to assess how&#160;well they were doing in their prescribed roles. Demerits or merits were assigned, based on Dr.&#160;Crane&#39;s scale of most essential marital duties, and&#160;wives could figure out just how well they were doing by their man by adding up scores and getting a rating. Yes, indeed, I think Dr. Crane would have rated me in the &quot;failure&quot;* category. </p>
<p>*<span style="FONT-SIZE: 0.8em">Incidentally, I love that a marriage counselor <em>had </em>a failure category</span>. <span style="FONT-SIZE: 0.8em">Very confidence inspiring for the fledgling marriage.</span></p>
<p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 0.8em"></span>&#160;</p>
<p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 0.8em"></span>&#160;</p>

    
    
    
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<p style="text-align: center">Clearly, I am a very bad wife. I think my score&#160;could quite possibly be negative.</p>
<p style="text-align: left">As you read it over, does anything strike you as very&#160;<em>ornamental </em>about the identity&#160;of this perfect wife that emerges through this chart? Lots of contradictions between the merit and demerit list (a little bit, but not too much! of everything), molding the perfect wife into a very shallow and people-pleasing creature of&#160;delight for her husband&#39;s satisfaction. She is to be perky, intuitive, intellectual, and beautiful, but only because it reflects well on the marital union, so never in a way that advances her own interests or desires. It makes me&#160;shudder just a little. &#160;</p>
<p>I think some of my favorites might be &quot;reacts with pleasure and delight to marital congress,&quot; (for a whole <strong>10</strong> merits!Nevermind if husband is actually good at said congress, I guess wife should just put on Oscar-worthy performance)&#160;and the requisite cheery morning disposition (I&#39;m a goner on this one...might as well sign the divorce papers now). On the demerit side, I particularly enjoyed demerits&#160;for&#160;shoulder straps or slip hanging out or crooked (bad wife!), being more than 15&#160;pounds overweight (fat wife!), wears red nail polish (whore wife!), wearing pajamas while cooking (I&#39;m going to wife&#160;hell for this one), too talkative (but of course spunky and well-versed in many topics, according to the merit list); and squeezes toothpaste from the top (please God, don&#39;t ever let my husband see this one).</p>
<p>I now fully understand why use of &quot;happy&#160;potions&quot; and qualudes were rampant by housewives in this era. </p>
<p>So, where do you stack up on the good wife scale? &#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;</p>
        
    
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    <category term="bad wife; marriage" scheme="http://thinkingwoman.groups.vox.com/tags/bad+wife%3B+marriage/" label="bad wife; marriage" />
    
    </entry>

    
    <entry>
        <title>California&#39;s budget crisis and the Governor&#39;s temporary fix</title>
    
    
    
        <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" title="California&#39;s budget crisis and the Governor&#39;s temporary fix" href="http://thinkingwoman.groups.vox.com/library/post/6a00c2251cbb00604a00fae8b99ae1000b.html?_c=feed-atom-full" />
    
        
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                <id>tag:vox.com,2008-05-15:asset-6a00c2251cbb00604a00fae8b99ae1000b</id>
        <published>2008-05-15T16:51:19Z</published>
        <updated>2008-05-15T17:08:47Z</updated>
    
        <author>
            <name>Liz</name>
            <uri>http://feminist.vox.com/?_c=feed-atom-full</uri>
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            <p>It is no secret that I do not like Gov. Schwarzenegger. My 18th
birthday was 2 weeks after the recall election, and I did not vote for
him when he was up for reelection. I knew he would never be able to
solve the problems he promised he would, and this is one situation
where I hate being right.
<p>The people of California (wrongfully, in my opinion) ousted Gov.
Davis because of budget and energy problems back in 2003. Granted, it
was a little more complicated than a budget crisis and energy shortage,
but those were the main issues at the time. And now, shocker of all
shockers, Gov. Schwarzenegger has failed to solve the budget crisis.</p>
<p>The Governor’s May revision was released yesterday and California is
facing a $17.2 billion deficit, which is over $2 billion more than the
original proposal. Instead of raising taxes to repair the budget
problems – which, let’s face it, we knew he’d never do because he’s a
Republican – Gov. Schwarzenegger has decided to target problems
providing aid to children, the elderly, the disabled, low-income
families, and immigrants. He has done this at a time when it has been
projected that the need for state and government aid will increase
during the next budget year. And, the biggest problem of all, <strong>his solution is only a temporary fix for the problem</strong>. The next person in office will be facing the same problems he is now, only they will be greater because of <a href="http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-cap15-2008may15,0,6313099.column">Gov. Schwarzenegger&#39;s reluctance to raise taxes</a> (except for the 1 cent increase he has proposed, which the GOP is adamantly against).</p>
<p>On top of wanting to use lottery money as a temporary fix to the budget, he has proposed that the <a href="http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-budget15-2008may15,0,5652117.story">$828 million from gas taxes be <strong>taken away from public transportation</strong> and redirected to help with the $17.2 billion deficit</a>. Myself and many other <a href="http://tallanna.vox.com/">commuters </a>in
the state of California rely on public transportation to get work in a
safe, cost-efficient, convenient, and green way. By cutting funds from
public transportation during a time when gas prices are only going to
continue increasing, you are making it impossible for people, like
myself, to get to their jobs everyday. When my bus is full and I have
to choose between buying groceries or gas for two weeks, I ultimately
have to decide between keeping my job or being unemployed.</p><p>Personally, I find it ironic that a Governor who uses taxpayer&#39;s money
to fly back and forth from southern California to Sacramento is
impacting commuters by cutting public transportation.</p>
<p>I am extremely upset and I feel very betrayed by Gov.
Schwarzenegger. I don’t think I can write about this anymore without
resorting to name calling. Combine that with my lack of qualifications
to talk about any of this with any real authority, I’ve pasted some
quotes below from people who do know what they are talking about.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-budget15-2008may15,0,5652117.story">The Los Angeles Times</a> has a complete list of the budget cuts and who they will/would impact.</p>
<p>From the <a href="http://www.sacbee.com/110/story/939598.html">Sacramento Bee</a>:</p>
<blockquote><p>The governor&#39;s failure is more than just a numbers game.
It reflects his – and the state&#39;s – refusal to face reality. The
public&#39;s desire for spending on schools, health care, prisons, welfare,
roads and other services is not matched by the voters&#39; willingness to
raise taxes.</p>
<p>The result: budget deficits year after year. Those deficits and the
borrowing to which they have led mean that we&#39;re still paying now for
services the state provided five years ago, leaving less money
available for the things we need today. And years from now we and
future Californians will still be paying – with interest – for the
services we&#39;re getting today.</p>
<p>The centerpiece of Schwarzenegger&#39;s latest budget plan is a proposal
to take an advance against future earnings from the sale of lottery
tickets. The governor wants to overhaul the state-run gaming operation
so that more people play, and more revenue flows to the state from the
tickets they buy. Then he wants to get private investors to pay the
state $15 billion in exchange for the rights to a portion of those
higher proceeds over the next 30 years.</p>
<p><strong>But even if the Legislature accepted Schwarzenegger&#39;s lottery
proposal, adopted every spending cut the governor proposed and embraced
his budget reform plan, the state would still be facing a projected
shortfall of about $5 billion in two years. In other words, when the
lottery money runs out, the problem is still there.</strong></p></blockquote>
<p>From <a href="http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/05/15/MNOL10MF9F.DTL">The San Francisco Chronicle:</a></p>
<blockquote><p>His latest plan is not without severe cuts. While he has
abandoned some of his earlier controversial ideas, such as early
release of 22,000 prisoners and closing 48 state parks, the new budget
still contains cuts totaling $11 billion.</p>
<p>Health and welfare programs were among the hardest hit. The governor
has proposed cuts in health care for the poor, recent immigrants and
disabled residents.</p></blockquote>
<p>I sincerely hope that our next Governor is a Democrat not afraid of raising taxes, because this is just not going to work.</p> </p>
        
    
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    <category term="politics" scheme="http://thinkingwoman.groups.vox.com/tags/politics/" label="politics" />
    
    <category term="california" scheme="http://thinkingwoman.groups.vox.com/tags/california/" label="california" />
    
    <category term="opinion" scheme="http://thinkingwoman.groups.vox.com/tags/opinion/" label="opinion" />
    
    <category term="budget" scheme="http://thinkingwoman.groups.vox.com/tags/budget/" label="budget" />
    
    <category term="governor" scheme="http://thinkingwoman.groups.vox.com/tags/governor/" label="governor" />
    
    </entry>

    
    <entry>
        <title>&quot;I&#39;m not talking to you so I&#39;m going to text you to let you know that I&#39;m not talking to you.&quot;</title>
    
    
    
        <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" title="&quot;I&#39;m not talking to you so I&#39;m going to text you to let you know that I&#39;m not talking to you.&quot;" href="http://thinkingwoman.groups.vox.com/library/post/6a00cd971893af4cd500fae8b96e10000b.html?_c=feed-atom-full" />
    
        
        <link rel="service.post" type="application/atom+xml" title="&quot;I&#39;m not talking to you so I&#39;m going to text you to let you know that I&#39;m not talking to you.&quot;" href="http://thinkingwoman.groups.vox.com/library/post/6a00cd971893af4cd500fae8b96e10000b.html?_c=feed-atom-full#comments" />
    
        <link rel="service.edit" type="application/atom+xml" title="&quot;I&#39;m not talking to you so I&#39;m going to text you to let you know that I&#39;m not talking to you.&quot;" href="http://www.vox.com/atom/svc=post/asset_id=6a00cd971893af4cd500fae8b96e10000b" /> 
                <id>tag:vox.com,2008-05-15:asset-6a00cd971893af4cd500fae8b96e10000b</id>
        <published>2008-05-15T02:33:05Z</published>
        <updated>2008-05-15T20:26:55Z</updated>
    
        <author>
            <name>texas crude</name>
            <uri>http://holliday.vox.com/?_c=feed-atom-full</uri>
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    <entry>
        <title>Catcalling: creepy or a compliment?</title>
    
    
    
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                <id>tag:vox.com,2008-05-14:asset-6a00c2251cbb00604a00fad687de1a0004</id>
        <published>2008-05-14T21:18:47Z</published>
        <updated>2008-05-14T21:18:47Z</updated>
    
        <author>
            <name>Liz</name>
            <uri>http://feminist.vox.com/?_c=feed-atom-full</uri>
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            <p>I was more than a little shocked to see <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/05/14/lw.catcalls/index.html">this</a> article on the front page of CNN:</p>
<blockquote><p>As the weather warms each spring, women — especially in
cities with active sidewalk traffic — once again face catcalls from
men. It’s a situation some find unnerving and an invasion of their
space, while others ignore it or are even flattered by it.</p>
<p>“I call it street abuse,” said New York filmmaker Maggie Hadleigh-West, 49. “It’s unwanted attention and invasion of space.”</p>
<p>In her 1998 documentary “War Zone,” Hadleigh-West confronted
catcallers and filmed their responses. Many of the men literally ran
away to avoid talking to her about why they whistled or made a
provocative comment. […]</p>
<p>“Being in a public space with a strange man who is being sexually aggressive is potentially dangerous,” Hadleigh-West added.</p>
<p><strong>On the other hand, some women appreciate the attention in certain cases, like Jessica</strong>, a 31-year-old health-care educator in Los Angeles who declined to use her last name to protect her privacy.</p>
<p>“Yeah, it’s objectifying and all, but you know, <strong>if I walked
down the street and didn’t have men looking me up and down and
catcalling, I’d think, ‘Boy, I must really be getting old and dumpy,’ ”
she said.</strong></p></blockquote>
<p>This is absolutely disgusting. Is that how you feel better about
yourself? BY being verbally assaulted by men? I think it’s a little sad
that the state of the world makes women feel <em>flattered</em> when
they are being yelled at by strange men simply for existing. Where is
your self esteem? Do you really need that much attention to feel good
about yourself? I know I’m being a little more than harsh here, but I <em>absolutely hate</em> women like this. Especially when cat calling isn’t as innocent as a man being a jerk and asserting himself on a woman:</p>
<blockquote><p>“There seems to be some evidence that it increases
self-objectification,” said Fairchild, who surveyed 550 women both
online and at Rutgers University in 2006 and 2007. The women — who
ranged in age from 15 to 64 in the international online component and
from 18 to 24 in the Rutgers survey of women from central New Jersey —
were asked about their experiences with street harassment.</p>
<p><strong>Catcalling “encourages women to look at themselves as body
parts instead of as full, whole, intelligent human beings” and can
cause women to fear for their safety, Fairchild says.</strong></p>
<p>“When a man catcalls you, you don’t know if it will end at that point or if it could escalate to assault,” she added.</p></blockquote>
<p>I’m glad that there is research being done on this - but I’m sad
that it’s getting attention only after the article’s author finds some
random woman who just <em>lives</em> for the attention cat calling provides her with.</p>
<p>You know, I was totally fine with this article, even the bits including the attention-seeking woman, until I reached the end:</p>
<blockquote><p><strong>“A lot of men have no idea that women don’t like being talked to in this way,”</strong>
she said. “It never crosses their mind, and yelling doesn’t educate
them. If you yell, they often don’t understand why you are upset and so
they take it personally.”</p>
<p>Often, Kearl says, an assertive, clear response can illicit a kinder reaction than one expects.</p>
<p><strong>“A lot of the time, I find guys will just say, ‘Oh, OK, I didn’t realize it made you feel that way. Thanks.’ “</strong></p></blockquote>
<p>Ok, now, really, as a woman who experiences cat calling because she
has to dress up for work, I can honestly say that no matter how you
respond to a man making sexual comments about you, they will still take
it personally and be even bigger of an asshole about it. I have asked
cat callers more than once if they think whistling and making sexual
remarks at women is really the way to get their attention, and I’ve
either been called a bitch, stupid, or a lesbian because of my return
comment.</p>
<p>What is a man’s expectation when he says these things to a woman he
doesn’t even know? Does he expect her to fawn over him in appreciation?
Does he expect his comments to be appreciated, or does he know they are
offensive?</p>
<p>I’m doing my part as a woman to make it clear that we don’t
appreciate these comments, but I’m only one woman living in one small
city - I can only do so much.</p> 
        
    
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    <entry>
        <title>NARAL endorses Obama, but doesn’t explain why they didn’t endorse Clinton</title>
    
    
    
        <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" title="NARAL endorses Obama, but doesn’t explain why they didn’t endorse Clinton" href="http://thinkingwoman.groups.vox.com/library/post/6a00c2251cbb00604a00fae8b95d82000b.html?_c=feed-atom-full" />
    
        
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                <id>tag:vox.com,2008-05-14:asset-6a00c2251cbb00604a00fae8b95d82000b</id>
        <published>2008-05-14T21:18:13Z</published>
        <updated>2008-05-15T23:13:24Z</updated>
    
        <author>
            <name>Liz</name>
            <uri>http://feminist.vox.com/?_c=feed-atom-full</uri>
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            <p>If you’re going to make an endorsement because you’re trying to help
a candidate win an election, that’s fine with me. But when you make an
endorsement, make it clear why you’re selecting candidate A in favor of
candidate B, <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/nancy-keenan/why-naral-pro-choice-amer_b_101708.html">don’t just simply state that you’re endorsing candidate A</a>.</p>
<p>My favorite part of the endorsement had to be when Nancy Keenan said the following two sentences in the same paragraph:</p>
<blockquote><p>Further, I believe Sen. Obama is going to be the Democratic nominee.</p>
<p>Sen. Obama will be our next president.</p></blockquote>
<p>It’s nice to know that you aren’t letting your personal beliefs
cloud your judgment and make endorsements on behalf of an entire
agency. Why didn’t she just say “I like Obama better than Clinton,
ne-ner-ne-ner-neeee-ner!” - because that’s what it sounds like.</p> 
        
    
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